May 28, 2017

Resting in the green Willows pastures

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*Claps hands* Iyo, dilo tsa mo Bloem! Hayisuka madoda!
So Miss Goody Two Shoes was nearly stabbed after being caught in bed with another woman’s husband at Willows. Mare bathong what’s up with these radio personalities tsa Blomo who are forever caught in the act?

theweekly2111-1-1First it was that loud self-righteous motor mouth who has fathered I-don’t-know-how many kids, who was also nearly stabbed at Willow Flair for bonking a student, and now it’s this one who’s so opinionated? Eish, Lesedi FM radio personalities need a cleansing ceremony shame!

*Flashback* Imagine a huge man like him being chased all over Willows and leaving his car behind only to be rescued by a friend who whisked him away to safety. I hear the car was later fetched by colleagues. Well, I suppose the pastures are indeed very green at Willows.

Although the Queen was not feeling too well this past weekend, off I went to see what the beautiful city had in store for me and, girl I must say, the drama in the streets of Mangaung will leave you speechless.

Romeo, Romeo, oh Romeo! So you mean to tell me that Tshidi is the best you could do? Look, I know her ass is wow and all that, but really, like seriously really! That girl is done and kaput; she’s damaged goods; she’s gone and forgotten.

In fact she’s like Siberia, everyone knows where it is but no one wants to go there and yet wena o busy playing blesser to that thing! Tjo, o liver shame!
Well, I am known for minding my own business and not sticking my nose in other people’s business, but the brother has been in the game for far too long to still find such a thing attractive. Truly disappointed!
Tjo! King O and King Nation are so pompous hleng! Maybe it’s because these girls are forever throwing themselves at them. I am not a hater shame; King O was so on point on Sunday. For a minute there I nearly drooled over the brother, but we all know the young King doesn’t do my type so I restricted myself.

Sir- Juice hleng lona! Oh! my gosh this yellow bone brother drives me nuts hleng lona! As for wena Miss Loose Panty Pearl, just because I looked at Sir-Juice doesn’t mean I was gonna sneak out with the guy for a quickie. That’s your style, not mine. Anyway it’s not like you’re his type. Tjo!

He bathong, you know the Pastor’s daughter is really, really cheap; sad thing is even if she was on sale no one would buy her. I really don’t know what prompts this girl to behave the way she does. The sooner she books herself into rehab the better.

No wonder DJ Kenny showed no interest in you darling, you’re just two wild for him. And by the way, Kenny, how about you give me your digits so we can have private chats since you’re so shy in public?

Mr Seleke, how stupid can you be to purchase bo Magosha with a personalised number plate? And to think we were at your wedding not so long ago. Mara why mara! Are you really that addicted? Guess you are hey! Or perhaps, could there be trouble in paradise?

Mhm, Mr. Treasury really loves them skinny I tell you. Nou this thing you were with, where did you get it from? Let me not say much before you get all moody on me. But for the record, o joke hle. Lol
Girls, look I love you, I really do; but why do you continue to bend over in parking lots every little chance you get, my princesses? Do you ever think of hubby when you embark on such extramural debaucheries? I really feel sorry for the poor men of God.

Eish! Bathong Palesa Zophe, goodness gracious, that girl is beautiful. Geez!
But how in the blue hell does Show D play an 8-hour set? Yes, we all know you’re back but really abuti, 8 hours? Why aren’t you giving other DJs a chance. Phela bo selfish ke bang, no man. That’s so not on. Thanks for a super awesome set though.

For once DJ Hlokoza was not playing for himself but the actual crowd. Please give that man a Bells, he deserves it this time around.

Lesego, you mean to tell me you’re dating a proper BEE character with money and yet you still wear weave ya 2010. What’s wrong with you? Eish, bana ba di plasi mare!
Ok good people, until next time, hugs and kisses!

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