Goodbye second rate sex 2011; hello sexy 2012

December 15, 2011 | Filed underPopular News | Posted by editor

New sexy you … Ladies take time to reinvent yourselves this summer.

The year 2011 is slowly but surely reaching its expiry date. With only a couple of weeks to go, we’ll soon be saying goodbye to another year, which soon will just be a memory.  The promise of 2012 looms in front of us – shiny and bright with possibility.
Ladies in the New Year, give yourself permission to refuse to settle for lousy sex. Life is too short to be celebrated with bad sex, particularly, with the wrong person!
Kick 2011 in the balls for the stupid drunk sex you had with your ex-boyfriend only to find out the bastard is still a two minute noodle, for the STD he denied giving you, for the friend he left you for, and for the sky-high phone bill your boss deducted from your salary because you called the stupid moron 88 times a day!
Today, I urge you to go ahead and start thinking about what you’re going to throw away to make room for all the amazing things about to come your way.
To give you a head start, your girl Miss Kay got you covered. New Year’s Eve has always been a time to reflect on the past and, more importantly, look ahead to the coming year. It’s a time to consider the changes we want to make and resolve to follow through on those changes.
Here are my resolutions for 2012. I know someone somewhere out there can relate…
This New Year, I’m not going to let another year go by without a boyfriend. I swear it. I’m going to get a boyfriend this year – if it’s the last thing I do. No more “Am I going to let my ex to worm his scumbag self into my bed again?”
Still on the getting the boyfriend tip, I’m also not going to be apologetic for taking another girl’s boyfriend. Life is a bitch and I’m not going to be a saint about it. I’d advise all of you girls to just be strong!
Another great adventure to look forward to is the loaded politicians who’ll be gracing the City of Roses unlike our broke local ones whose furniture’s are repossessed randomly. If you’ve always had aspirations of becoming the new Khanyi Mbau, 2012 is the time to do so!
Out with the old, in with the new! Something sexy to look forward to is all the steamy, hot moves you’ll be introducing in the bedroom.
To achieve all of these, I’ve come up with the How to Score a Man in 2012 for Aspiring Khanyi Mbau’s guidebook. Here are the most important tips:
Clear out your underwear drawer. Banish those faded, holey panties and baggy bras to the rubbish heap and head to Temptations and La Senza. Give your man something to think about while he’s at work.
Invest in a good dildo for those lonely dry nights. It can go a long way.
Practice safe sex all the time. Unwanted pregnancies and STDs are a passion killer.
Bring confidence back into the bedroom and start taking control. Man on top is so 2011!
Make blowjobs your daily bread.
Do yourself a favour in 2012 and sort out all of those sex issues holding you back. Lose all 2011’s sex baggage with 2011!
Happy sexy 2012, ladies!
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